The Herald, July 2024

Every day thousands of sex toys are bought by everyday Kiwis. Jane Phare delves into the multimillion-dollar adult toy industry: what’s popular, and which New Zealand towns buy the most per capita.

There’s nothing Sandra Waters doesn’t know about the sex industry. She ran two Auckland brothels, Flora’s (named after notorious madam Flora MacKenzie) and Penthouse for nine years until sex work was legalised in 2003. The Prostitution Law Reform Act changed everything. “Girls” started working from home and Waters thought about retiring.

But a couple of Auckland businessmen who ran adult toy stores, Peaches & Cream, and Erox, asked her to come and work for them. Waters started in the company’s warehouse 17 years ago packing orders and soon the owners, the late John Frew and Andrew Broczek, promoted her to retail manager across the stores in the North and South Islands. Six years ago she became CEO of the 10 Peaches & Cream stores and online sales.

In that time Waters has seen the sex-toy industry change from a somewhat “dark-and-dingy” business – images of men in trench coats lurking about – to a multimillion-industry with slick online sites powered by social media and influencers, promoting new and sometimes startling products.

Globally the sex toy market is worth an estimated $58.5 billion and is expected to grow to $145b by 2030.

Sex toy e-commerce entrepreneur Nicola Relph runs Adult Toy Megastore, an online business dispatching between 1000 and 3000 items a day to Kiwis from a modern 3500sq m warehouse in Porirua.

The mother of two, in her 40s, has run e-commerce sites for more than 20 years, initially selling everything from cheese graters and gadgets to fitness equipment and clocks. A friend suggested she try selling adult toys and Relph thought “Why not?”

The “Why not” soon turned into a “Wow!” when she realised the volume of orders. She stopped selling cheese graters to concentrate solely on adult toys and “sexual wellness” products. By 2009 the e-commerce site Adult Toy Megastore was born.

“We very quickly realised that e-commerce and sex toys were a match made in heaven.”

Along the way the Fifty Shades of Grey books gave business a boost and even though the resulting movie took sexual tension to a new low, it got people talking.

And then came Covid. Most business owners have a tale of woe to tell around Covid and lockdowns. Not Relph. As pharmacies and supermarkets ran out of lubricant and condoms, Kiwis discovered her site. As a Medsafe registered distribution centre she was allowed to keep operating. Sales skyrocketed, sex toys included, with volumes increasing threefold within four weeks.

The company operates websites in New Zealand, Australia and the US, and Relph could tell which countries and zones were in lockdown based on orders. Within 48 hours of lockdown, sales took off. With people stuck in their bubbles, and Tinder dates off the table, remote-controlled and app-based sex toys became popular.

With one partner stranded in another bubble, or overseas, couples could have virtual sex on Facetime with one partner controlling the movement and vibrations of another partner’s sex toy with the touch of a button on a phone.

Relph now has 10 staff in the Porirua distribution centre, picking and packing orders, and 15 staff in the Wellington head office, with thousands of customers aged anywhere from 18 to 90. Vibrators are always great sellers, she says, followed by male masturbators. Vulva-based toys sell more than penis-based toys, but customers are a 50/50 split between men and women.

A mother of two, and a user of sex toys herself, Relph has seen a marked change in attitudes towards adult toys and sexual pleasure since she became involved in the industry 20 years ago.

“When we started it was even hard for us to get a bank account” she told the Herald.

Mainstream banks pursed their lips at the thought of backing a business that sold sex toys. It took Relph a year to negotiate a lay-by service.

“I finally got them over the line and then they were like ‘wow, there’s a lot of volume coming through this channel’.”

Better and sexier

Recognising an almost insatiable appetite for something better, more creative and sexier, manufacturers and designers worldwide are scrabbling to hit the top spot.

Vibrators – purple’s the most popular colour but no one can really explain why – are the big sellers with the Satisfyer Pro 2, a clitoral suction toy that mimics oral sex, dominating the market in the past few years. It still does, selling for between $70 and $84.

“Everyone was talking about it, Relph says. “Every closed Facebook group, every girls’ wine evening or book club was talking about the Satisfyer Pro 2 and it’s still a very popular product.”

Waters agrees, saying the device “went viral”.

“I reckon every woman in New Zealand must own one because we sold thousands and thousands of them of them. And it’s still selling.”

The industry also talks in admiring tones about the innovative Wi-Vibe range, one of the first to introduce an app-controlled device, and a couple’s toy that could be used during intercourse.

However, Taslim Parsons, 55, thought there was room for improvement in a range of toys “developed by men”. For a start, some of the imagery used on the packaging of adult toys has been developed “under the male gaze” and is bordering on pornographic, she says.

As a user of adult toys herself, she saw a gap in the market after women indicated the Satisfyer Pro 2 was great but had no internal stimulation for the G-spot. Parsons, who works as business and product development manager for Wholesale Solutions, another of Relph’s companies that distributes “pleasure products” on behalf of a range of international brands, developed the double-pronged Kama vibrator – launching it in 2020.

It wasn’t a new idea but she took a poorly-made production sample and redesigned it, using medical-grade silicone, changed the buttons, designed bespoke colours, and made it waterproof, rechargeable and quieter. Kama’s packaging is discreet, “tasteful” Parsons says, a product that could sit quite happily in a department store next to the perfume counter.

“That was what I was trying to create with this. I don’t want it to feel grubby and grimy. I want it to feel beautiful.”

Kama is part of the Share Satisfaction range Parsons has developed, which now has nine sub-brands selling 3500 products from “soft bondage” to pelvic wellness products, and turning over $6m in the past four years.

The range’s latest offering is the O-Pod, a tiny “whisper quiet” suction vibrator in a case similar to AirPods.

“...Just what you want to find tucked away in your pocket, this vibe will bring on the O’s with ease”, reads Share Satisfaction’s website.

Millennials are “going crazy” over it, Parsons says.

Parsons says everyone she knows owns a sex toy and, according to product-sales data she accesses for her business, New Zealanders buy more toys per capita than anywhere in the world.

“We’re a small nation but oh my goodness do we buy a lot of toys.”

She’s the mother of two teenagers and says her kids are “pretty chilled” about what mum does for a job. Her daughter works in the warehouse during the school holidays.

Similarly, Relph is the mother of two children and her husband Craig works in the business.

“We’ve had to be open with our family. For me it’s about being proud of what we do and what we offer.”

She’s all in favour of being open about sexual health and wellness, and that includes talking about sex toys.

“There are hundreds and hundreds of people ordering every day. It’s just a normal part of life now.”

Even so, Relph knows the importance of discretion. Parcels are well wrapped, without branding on the outside, and delivered by NZ Post the next day. Customers can also use a Post Office box, or a parcel collection service.

Those customers are choosing from around 35,000 different line items on the Adult Toy Megastore website.

“People think there must be about 10 rabbit vibrators,” Relph says. “There’s not. There are thousands and thousands.”

Realising there is business to be had, mainstream outlets in New Zealand are increasingly stocking adult toys and products, including some pharmacies, salons and spas, Woolworths, Sephora, and online through stores like Mighty Ape, Mecca and Brands.

Some shoppers were shocked to see vibrators on display at Chemist Warehouse this year and in 2021, when Cotton On cottoned on to the sex-toy phenomenon, shoppers objected to its range of Smile Makers vibrators offered in four pretty colours. But other customers supported the move, labelling the complaints as “pearl clutching”.

Jess Price, brand communications specialist for Cotton On Body, says the company stands for “self-love, empowerment and putting yourself first”.

Sales of the Smile Makers spiked during International Masturbation Month in May, she said.

More women and couples-friendly

Recognising the need to become more mainstream, Waters badgered the then-owners of Peaches & Cream to do an image makeover when she first became retail manager for the stores. She wanted to make them more women and couples-friendly, and knew the dark, dingy red-and-black decor (the Christchurch store was orange and brown) had to go.

It took some convincing she says, but she got her way. The stores changed to a pink-and-white theme, with brightly lit display shelves. Waters is happy with the outcome.

“We’ll never get into a mall,” she says. And then, after a pause, she says, “Well, never say never, we might.”

Two years ago the Peaches & Cream stores were sold to WHJ Retail Ltd, a company connected to businessmen and investors Henry Ferrier, Jacob Draper and former Richlister and philanthropist Bill Birnie, who was made a Companion of the New Zealand Order of Merit for Services to governance, the arts and sport in 2017.

Waters is coy about turnover but says, “It’s a lot. We do quite well.”

They’re selling at least 2000 products a week, some of them worth several hundred dollars. Christmas and Valentine’s Day are the stores’ boom times, she says. They’re doing so well that once the economic outlook has improved, the company is looking to open more stores, eyeing Botany in Auckland, and Queenstown for starters.

Christchurch is the best-selling store, with the Canterbury area the biggest market including online sales.

Waters says it’s a fun industry to be in. She works above the Glenfield Peaches & Cream and regularly hears laughter from the store below. Most of her staff have been with the company for at least 10 years, with one staff member clocking up 25 years.

More women are coming into the stores now, including older women. “Some of the doctors are suggesting they come in because they’ve lost their partners.”

That’s the advantage of the bricks-and-mortar stores, she says. People can get the advice they need.

“I have women who come in and buy masturbators for their husbands because they don’t want to have sex, but they know their husband needs it.’

Waters travels extensively to trade shows – Las Vegas, Shanghai, Barcelona and various German cities - to find new products. For someone who’s worked in the industry for so long, even she can still be surprised.

“When I go to trade shows I’ll think ‘what else can they come out with?’ And then they come out with something and I go ‘really?’”

The battle of the vibrators

In a market that has a bewildering array of choice, Parsons wanted to go up against the dominant Satisfyer Pro 2 with her Kama product. Adult Toy Megastore’s PR company says the purple version of Kama is its number one seller, with the teal version next, knocking the Satisfyer out of first place.

However, elsewhere that’s not the case. Sinderellas Adult Gift Shop in Invercargill says the “SP2″ is way more popular than the Kama. And down the road at Coco Bella, the sales assistant said the Satisfyer Pro 2 was still their biggest seller but Kama was also popular. At the Peaches & Cream stores, the Satisfyer Pro 2 is still the best seller, but the Kama range has only recently been introduced.

Online store Tabu Adult Boutique said the Satisfyer Pro 2 was still the most popular but Kama was doing well. GiGi adult department store in Auckland said its most popular vibrators were the Wi-Vibe range. Online store LoveStash reported its top two sellers as the Satisfyer Pro 2, followed by the Love Magic Power Bullet.

Data from Adult Toy Megastore showed that Foxton was the largest buyer of sex toys per capita last year followed by Winton, Wellsford, Hokitika and Otorohanga. This year Wellsford has edged Foxton out of the top spot, followed by Bulls, Katikati, Hokitika and Winton.

Takeaways from the research:

• Vibrators are the top selling sex toy, followed by masturbators

• The most popular sex-toy colour is purple, no one knows why

• The Evereadys in the TV remote are safe; most sex toys are USB charged these days

• Old people buy adult toys too

• Online purchases arrive in discreet, plain packing and do not scream “Sex toy inside!” to the postie and your family

• It’s likely millions of sex toys are tucked away in hundreds of thousands of Kiwi homes but Stats NZ does not keep data on this

• In terms of e-commerce, vibrators sell way better than cheese graters

• Wellsford, not famous for much, and Foxton, famous for its Dutch windmill, are now on the map for new reasons

• Care needs to be taken not to mix up the apps on your phone

• Pay attention when lending your AirPods to your teenager. The O-Pod mini vibrator case looks the same

Jane Phare is a senior Auckland-based business, features and investigations journalist, former assistant editor of NZ Herald and former editor of the Weekend Herald and Viva.